


The Evolution of Prayer

by lankyaqua7777



Category: The Social Network (2010)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Moving On, Not A Fix-It, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-24 13:29:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30072978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lankyaqua7777/pseuds/lankyaqua7777
Summary: Years after the deposition and break-up, Eduardo stops praying that Mark comes back and instead that he doesn’t. Only this time, he isn’t so lucky.
Relationships: Eduardo Saverin/Mark Zuckerberg
Kudos: 2





	The Evolution of Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the The Social Network world, which is trademarked by Columbia Pictures, Relativity Media, Scott Rudin Productions, Michael De Luca Productions, Trigger Street Productions, David Fincher, and Aaron Sorkin. Both fictionalized Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin are characters created and owned by the aforementioned, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of The Social Network. The story I tell here about Mark and Eduardo is my own invention, and it is not purported or believed to be part of Columbia Pictures, Relativity Media, Scott Rudin Productions, Michael De Luca Productions, Trigger Street Productions, David Fincher, and Aaron Sorkin's canon. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story line. I am in no way profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story. This was written for non-commercial purposes and no profit was generated from it. No copyright infringement was intended.

Eduardo never considered himself to be overtly religious but he could see the appeal. Earlier, in his Harvard days, he and Mark would sometimes discuss the purpose of religion in the Kirkland dormitory. Mark never liked religion. He often thought it was a tool of the weak and never understood the point of it. He would break off into long winded tangents, going on and on about the “hive mentality” and the “collective ignorance” of those who subscribed to religious beliefs. He looked down on those who were religious and despised them for their ignorance and stupidity.

Eduardo didn’t agree. 

Eduardo liked the idea of religion. He liked the fact that humanity chose to believe in something, chose to congregate for something bigger than themselves. He knew what it felt like to be afraid or feel alone, and the innate comfort that believing in a higher power could bring. Eduardo could admit that religion had it’s bad sides and could certainly bring out the worst in people but it could also bring out the best. Eduardo wasn’t necessarily religious but he didn’t oppose it either. 

That is, until Mark left him.

Eduardo still remembers the night Mark officially left him. It was a few hours after the initial confrontation at the Facebook offices. Eduardo was still reeling from the fight, his hands tingling after smashing Mark’s laptop. He had been livid ever since he had left the Facebook building, consumed with rage and white-hot anger at Mark for diluting his shares. Mark had some nerve doing that, especially when it was to the guy who’d had his dick down his throat just a month or so back.

He had been sitting on his hotel bed, the words from his newly signed contract flashing before his eyes when someone knocked at his door. 

He got up and walked to open it.

As soon as he pulled the door back, there stood Mark.

Immediately and embarrassingly, relief swarmed Eduardo, his initial rage taking a backseat. _Mark was at his door. Mark wanted to see him. Mark must want to apologize to him, to take it all back. To tell him they were okay. That he still loved him, no matter what._

“Mark?”

Mark was seemingly staring right over Eduardo’s shoulder, almost like he was seeing right through him. His gaze hesitantly landed on Eduardo’s face before fixing his eyesight to the side. This didn’t look like the Mark he knew, the one who loved him. The Mark he knew was warm and bubbly, always excited to see him, making him feel more loved than he ever had felt before. The Mark in front of him now seemed cold and distant, like he wanted to be anywhere but in front of Eduardo.

Nervously, Eduardo licked his lips before thinking of something to say.

“Mark, I-”

“It’s over, Eduardo.”

Eduardo felt the blood drain from his face as Mark cut him off. His heartbeat began to rise, thumping a relentless percussion in his ears.

_What was over? His Facebook shares? Hadn’t they already discussed that earlier?_

His mind started going in circles, desperately trying to form the connection.

“What are you talking about?”

Mark swallowed hard, refusing to look him in the eye, his throat bobbing before he spoke.

“Us. All of it. I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

Eduardo felt like the earth had completely shifted out from under him. He put his hand on the edge of the doorway to steady himself. _What was Mark talking about?_

“Mark, I know you don’t want me to be a part of Facebook, you made that pretty clear earlier. You already cut me out of the company, remember?” Eduardo snapped coldly, his anger an autopilot response.

If Mark looked phased by Eduardo’s blunt recollection of the afternoon’s events, he didn’t show it. 

“Yes, but this isn’t about that. This has nothing to do with Facebook. I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore either.”

For a split second, Eduardo thought he lost his hearing. The high-pitched ringing in his ears was so loud, he could’ve sworn he was going to have permanent damage. 

Mark couldn’t be serious. Cutting him out of the company was one thing but breaking up with him? Leaving him? After being together for months, after telling him how much he meant to him, after promising he’d never leave Eduardo and Eduardo promising the same, Mark couldn’t leave him. They were in love for God’s sake. There was no way Mark was serious.

Eduardo’s vision seemed to tunnel, until all he saw was Mark, his curly hair and bright blue eyes. 

Mark was all he ever saw.

“I-I don’t understand-”

“Look Eduardo, you weren’t there for me when I needed you. Back in Palo Alto, I was alone and-”

“You had Sean and Dustin!”

“Yes, but I-”

“I was riding subways in New York for over 12 hours a day trying to get advertisements!”

Eduardo felt that familiar heat in his stomach, his irritation seeming to reignite itself until Mark interjected.

“But I needed you!”

Eduardo’s breath left his body when Mark yelled this, all semblance of his anger dissipated. He stood in the doorway, shocked, as he looked at Mark, at a loss for words. Mark glanced downwards, looking more forlorn and exhausted than he had ever looked before. 

“I felt alone. I was exhausted and scared and sad and I had no idea what TheFacebook was about to be and I-”

Mark stopped rambling as he let out a long breath, his body seeming to deflate.

“I needed my boyfriend.” Mark said softly, so quietly Eduardo almost didn’t hear it.

“Mark,” Eduardo started delicately, beginning to put the pieces together, trying to adjust to this new revelation.

“Mark, I know I wasn’t there in Palo Alto and I’m sorry that I wasn’t but I was in New York for the company.”

Eduardo knew he sounded like a broken record but Mark just wasn’t understanding, he didn't get it. Everything he had done, he had done for-

“Forget the fucking company Eduardo!” Mark spits out, his face twisted in a mix of anger and hurt.

“I needed you because _I_ wasn’t okay, because _I_ felt alone and depressed and _I_ needed you and you weren’t there!”

The gears slowly started to click in Eduardo’s mind. _Mark had needed him? He hadn’t known. Sure, he figured that Mark was stressed, but hell, he was too. He had no idea Mark had been struggling that much. Had Mark tried to tell him? Did he-_

As if he could read his mind (which at one point, he pretty much could) Mark went on.

“You weren’t there for me Eduardo. When I needed you, my boyfriend, you weren’t there,” 

There was a slight pause and Eduardo felt his stomach drop, like he was on the world’s tallest roller coaster and realized he had no seatbelt.

For the first time in years, he prayed.

He prayed the words Mark was about to say wouldn't be the ones he never thought he’d hear.

“And I don’t have feelings for you anymore.” 

It was as if time froze for a moment. Eduardo briefly recalls learning that when someone gets shocking or disturbing news, sometimes the mind shuts down, the shock too much for it to process. The person may go numb or freeze, as if enacting a last-minute attempt to protect itself. Eduardo had never quite understood that phenomenon, until now.

Eduardo’s always been a fixer. His natural instinct is to do damage control, to fix things. He’s always been a natural problem-solver, he’s always been the guy who wants to help. He’s good at fixing issues, he’s good at trouble-shooting and solving problems. It’s what he _does_.

Eduardo takes a steadying breath, attempting to slow his racing heartbeat.

He could fix this, he could work around it. This was just another speed bump. He could solve this, just like he’s solved every other issue with Facebook. He remembers the cease and desist letter, the damage control with the executives when Mark was asleep in the chair next to him, or when he tried to tell Mark that Sean was just a little too slimy for his liking. 

He could solve this too.

“Mark, please, I’m sorry about Palo Alto, I didn’t mean to make you feel alone, I didn’t know you weren’t okay! I know things have been really rough these last few months but we can figure this out if we just-”

Mark shook his lead, his lips pressed together in a thin line, his gaze still focused on anywhere but Eduardo.

Eduardo kept going, hating the desperation that leaked into his voice as he brain scrambled to find a solution, to keep Mark, to save this, _them_.

“I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend but I promise we can fix this! I can understand, I’ll try harder, I’ll do more, it won’t happen again, I-just, please, Mark, let me-”

“No.”

It was the finality in Mark’s words that Eduardo could swear caused his heart to stop in that moment. His body seemingly unable to process what was happening. He realized how cold his hands were.

“No Eduardo, you can’t fix this. I don’t love you anymore. We just aren’t emotionally compatible. You can’t fix this. It’s over.”

Eduardo just stared at Mark, his mind and body completely numb. As if on reflex, he couldn’t help but note Mark’s hands shoved deep into his pockets, a nervous tick he always had. He saw his socks peeking out from under from his typical sandals he always wore, an outfit Eduardo used to affectionately tease him about. 

Mark was serious. Mark was spewing utter bullshit but he was _serious_. He couldn’t or wouldn’t let him fix this. It was over and Eduardo couldn’t do a damn thing about it. He couldn’t stop the oncoming train that was about to go careening off the cliff. He couldn’t save them.

_He couldn’t fix this._

“I hope we can still be friends Wardo, I’m always here if you ever need anything.”

Eduardo couldn’t help the dry, humorless laugh he quietly let out. 

Friends? He was willing to being his fucking friend? 

Mark had not only annihilated his shares from the Facebook company he had helped co-found while humiliating him in front of all of the Facebook employees, but had also just callously dumped him on his doorstep without a single flicker of remorse, and yet he’s still offering to be Eduardo’s fucking friend?

Eduardo just stares, an incredulous smile on his face. _He was fucking serious._

“Right,” Eduardo lets out a sarcastic chuckle as he looks at Mark standing in the hotel hallway, his face perfectly impartial. 

He shut the door.

  
  
  
  


\-------

  
  
  
  


Eduardo was pissed.

Immediately after that night, Eduardo erased Mark’s contact and deleted Mark on every social media platform he could think of. He figures there’s no start like a brand-new one.

For several months, he filtered through feelings of despair, confusion, blinding anger, and occasional acceptance towards Mark. 

Though the latter was far and few in between. 

He was pissed at Mark for not telling him sooner that he had needed him in Palo Alto. He was angry that Mark had always refused to communicate his feelings, even when Eduardo had begged him to. He was angry that Mark had given up on him so quickly. He was angry Mark had also cut him out of Facebook like he was nothing. 

_Maybe he was._

He hated himself, for believing in Mark, for loving him so unconditionally, for trusting him. 

He hated himself for not realizing what had happened in Palo Alto, that Mark had been telling him he needed him in his usual roundabout way. He hated himself for not being able to decipher Mark’s code. He tormented himself daily, dousing himself with self-loathing until he was drowning in it. 

He hated himself for initially liking religion and defending it to Mark. A lot of help God had been while he was getting his heart shattered.

And yet, he kept praying.

He prayed that Mark would come back. 

He prayed that Mark would text or email or call him apologizing, begging for Eduardo to take him back. He prayed that he and Mark would eventually end up together again, loving each other just as much as they had before. He prayed that Mark would forgive him. He prayed Mark would regret his decision. 

He prayed that Mark would come back.

After months went by, Eduardo felt the very first stages of healing. His mind and body slowly becoming accustomed to his life without Mark. He laughed with his friends again, started doing yoga, and he even pondered what it would be like to date again. 

He slowly began to forgive himself.

While he was getting stronger, he knew that if Mark came back, he wouldn’t be able to turn him away. He knew that he wouldn't be strong enough to reject him if he told Eduardo he loved him and wanted him back.

So Eduardo changed his prayer.

He prayed that Mark would never come back.

But every once in a while, the ghost from his ex lover still haunted him. Sometimes, it was seeing someone on Facebook in the coffee shop, other times it was seeing Mark’s favorite candy, Red Vines, in the grocery store. 

The worst for Eduardo always came late at night or early morning, before the sun had risen over the horizon. When his bedroom was dark and the night air cool against his skin. During those moments, when he was in the hazy fog between sleep and consciousness, sometimes he felt Mark. He could swear he’d feel his warm arm over his stomach, cuddling to Eduardo for warmth. Or feel Mark’s fingers move back strands of his hair, the ghost of his lips brushing his forehead.

For a brief moment, Eduardo would let himself believe. He would allow himself to accept the fantasy that Mark was there and had never left him. Deep down, he knew that this would only prolong his healing, that hallucinating his ex boyfriend who had abandoned him was in no way productive to his growth. But Eduardo had never been able to tell Mark no, even now. 

Too many times, he’d awoken from the hazy dream with wet cheeks and stinging eyes, the remnants of his tears drying on his pillow. The lump in his throat felt like a boulder, a reminder of what he’d once had and what he’d lost.

Years went by and Eduardo had put almost all of Mark and their relationship behind him. He started to go out and see friends again, he focused on expanding his business relationships, and he built up his investment portfolio. He even went on a few dates. He could almost trick himself into thinking he was over it.

Almost.


End file.
